


paper bullets of the brain

by ikuzonos



Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, F/F, NDRV3 Spoilers, Post-Canon, im not entirely sure if the archive warnings apply so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 18:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11087508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: Sometimes the nightmares are the breaking point.[Major NDRV3 Spoilers.]





	paper bullets of the brain

**Author's Note:**

> this vaguely takes place in the same universe as 'i have friends in holy spaces' and while it's not necessary to read that first it might explain a couple details in this.

It’s a freezing cold night and Himiko can’t sleep a wink. She’s exhausted, certain, but her brain refuses to shut off. Over and over again, the deaths of the other students play in her mind.

(How many has it been now? She’s lost count.)

Tenko sleeps beside her, the black haired girl completely dead to the world. They’re huddled on the floor of the aikidoka’s dorm, pressing close together to try and stay warm.

Himiko can’t remember the last time she slept a wink.

But at least Tenko is here with her, Tenko will always be on her side. Their hands are intertwined, and it makes Himiko feel safe. Rather,  _ Tenko _ makes her feel safe. There’s something about the taller girl’s spirit that makes it seem like nothing bad could ever happen.

(Never mind that people are dying around them.)

Tenko will protect her.  _ Tenko will protect her. _ Himiko repeats this over and over again in her head and begs for it to be the truth.

Himiko shifts to ease her tensed muscles and Tenko stirs. The redhead freezes in place, hoping that she’ll just go back to sleep, but Tenko’s eyes flicker open.

“S-Sorry for waking you…” Himiko murmurs, her voice so quiet she can hardly hear it.

Tenko smiles and yawns, “Don’t worry about it, Yumeno-san. Tenko’s so glad to be here with you! Are you feeling any better now?”

Himiko shrugs, “I’m still so scared. I really… really don’t want to die here. Even with all my magic, I can’t protect everyone…”

Tenko’s expression grows serious. She tightens her grip around Himiko’s hand and whispers, “Tenko will do everything in her power to protect you. No matter what happens in this place, she won’t let anything bad happen to you. Do you trust Tenko, Yumeno-san?”

Himiko nods fiercely. Because she does trust Tenko, she would trust Tenko Chabashira with her  _ life. _ She looks up at the girl, the girl who is smiling even in the face of this fear. Her green eyes are bright and shining, and Himiko wishes that she could be as brave.

She places her free hand on Tenko’s shoulder, reaching up to deftly kiss her. They’ve been on edge since Amami was killed by Saihara, since Momota was killed by Iruma, since Toujou’s suicide, but the few that are still alive are going to be  _ okay. _

(Her memories feels wrong and clouded.)

Himiko’s lips just brush Tenko’s when she feels something wet on her face. Her hand touches it, and Himiko jerks backwards when she sees the red liquid on her fingers. She glances back at Tenko, only for her eyes to widen in horror.

Blood is pouring out of Tenko’s mouth, a  _ kama _ driven through her neck. She’s still smiling, her eyes glazed over.

“T-Tenko!” Himiko chokes out, shaking so badly that she can’t move.

Tenko reply is slurred, “I told you… I’d never let anything happen to you. You still believe me… right?”

Flecks of blood hit Himiko’s face and she screams until her lungs give out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ i killed you i killed you i killed you _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Himiko shoots awake and shrieks. Her heartbeat is pounding and she can hear the echoes in her head. Her skin is too warm and too cold at the same time. Dizziness overwhelms her and hot, stinging bile rises up her throat and into her mouth.

She rocks back and forth on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, until she falls on her side. The soft blue fairy lights hanging above her bed begin to blur as tears pour out of her eyes and down her face. Himiko clutches the sheets tightly in her hands until she loses circulation in her fingers.

Slowly, her breathing regulates, but the tears don’t stop. All she can think about is Tenko and how she  _ killed her.  _ Every time she closes her eyes, she can see the girl’s bloodied corpse in the dark room, and wish that  _ she _ had been the one in the cage instead of Tenko.

Himiko continues to whimper, her face blotchy and her stomach in pain. In the back of her mind, she can hear frantic footsteps in the hallway, but they don’t matter.

Her door flies open and for one painful second, Himiko is certain that Tenko has finally come to rescue her after all this time, but no. It’s just Harukawa.

( _ Just _ Harukawa she thinks as if Harukawa hasn’t saved her life multiple times god why is she so selfish why is she doing this Harukawa has come to help her and yet Harukawa is not Tenko and that makes all the difference.)

Harukawa sits down on her bed and lightly rubs her back. Himiko slowly sits up, edging away from the taller girl’s touch. Neither of them speak for a long moment as Himiko dries her eyes on the sleeves of her duck patterned pajamas.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Harukawa asks, tilting her head ever so slightly.

“No,” Himiko lies, and for a second, she spots a dull glare in the dark haired girl’s eyes. It’s the same look that she gets whenever she doesn’t have any words in her, when she looks at the closed door at the end of the hall that belonged to Saihara once upon a time.

(Saihara’s mental health incident and subsequent abandonment of their tiny apartment is another string of nightmares entirely - nightmares that Harukawa doesn't know about.)

Harukawa reaches out and takes Himiko’s hand. She says softly, “If you want, we can talk about it. But if it would make you uncomfortable, we don’t have to.”

More tears spill from Himiko’s eyes. She quivers, trying to catch her breath, but something about the darkness is twisting her perception around.

Harukawa is not Tenko. Harukawa  _ is not Tenko. _

But if she squints, all she can see is two long black pigtails, and she can  _ pretend _ that Harukawa is Tenko when she reaches up and pulls her into a sickly, terrifying embrace. The kiss is long and sweltering, but Himiko hasn’t felt alive in so long and she needs this more than anything in the world.

They break apart, and Himiko stares into Harukawa’s startled crimson eyes. Then the faux assassin reciprocates in kind, the kisses hungry and desperate.

Himiko falls onto her back, but doesn’t break contact with Harukawa once except to gasp for air. Then they meet again, exhausted and depressed and lonely, whispering names that do not belong to the other.

Harukawa is not Tenko, and for once, Himiko’s glad, because it means that the girl she still loves doesn’t have to witness her like this. 

In the morning, she awakens tangled in bedsheets and Harukawa’s limbs. Tears well in her eyes again, and she silently hopes that this is the last time it will ever happen.

**Author's Note:**

> the doc this was written on was named 'i'm a terrible person.' pls leave comments/kudos if you enjoyed!


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